2022.01.28 20:22 ash3lynn can’t let go of my childhood
I feel like I’m the only person I know who can’t grow up and accept adulthood. Everybody that I know whose my age (22) is perfectly fine with moving out, having serious relationships, getting full time jobs, drinking/smoking, driving, going places without their family, and all the typical stuff “adults” do. I feel like I’m 10 years younger than these people and that I never aged past 12. When I meet people my age in public, I can’t help but automatically shrink down into this child and I can’t snap out of it.
Even when I was a little kid, I was hyper aware of growing up and dreaded it to death. I remember crying when I entered fifth grade because I didn’t want to be “mature”. I’ve cried on every birthday since I was 10 years old and I’m positive I’ll be crying again when I turn 23 in June. My whole childhood and teenage years felt like they were on fast forward and there wasn’t a day where I felt I wasn’t running out of time and that my youth wasn’t getting away from me. I remember everybody in elementary and middle school being so excited to grow up and I was the only one depressed about it. I never once imagined my life past 20 and ever since I reached past that age, I feel like I’ve been living in massive limbo.
These days, I’m feeling depressed more than I’ve ever been about growing older. I was scrolling through my phone at my childhood photos and I couldn’t stop crying. I miss my old house and when all my siblings were young and living at home. I miss playing the gamecube/wii with my brothers and going on family vacations (even though I hated car trips at the time). I miss when my dogs who are 15 and 16 now were young and energetic. Now they’re both half-blind/deaf and can’t even walk. I miss when my grandma could remember who I was and would take me shopping. And I just miss doing dumb kid things and having childish hobbies without it being weird. I even miss middle school and high school.. I miss my little friend groups and having hallway crushes and cramming my homework on the bus before school and sleeping during class. When I see kids and teens I just feel so envious.
I think my AVPD has made me this way. I started getting really bad in high school and I missed out on a lot of important “milestones” that mature people have. I never had a first job, never learned how to drive until recently, never dated anybody, never interned or volunteered, never put myself out there. I ghosted all of my friends but one and ended up being alone most of 10th-12th grade. I think my mental clock paused for me when I was 14 and it never started up again. I don’t know why I have AVPD or what caused it because I was so happy before that period. Now every year I just keep getting more and more depressed.
Why is getting older so miserable.. Everybody dies or leaves or forgets you. Even outside of my brain, the world feels more miserable with everything that is going on right now. Even if I end up making it to an old age, I’ll probably forget everything because dementia runs so strong in my family. It all feels so pointless
I don’t really know what to do though. I don’t want to be an adult. I don’t care about getting married or having kids or getting a job or living on my own. I don’t desire anything like that. But I have no idea what’s the point in life if you don’t do those things. I feel like I don’t have any purpose or goal or any motivation left at all. I feel like I’m just wasting time and energy being here. And it’s just going to get worse and worse as I keep aging. I really really don’t want to keep aging though. I don’t know if this is just severe depression or if I’m just being realistic about myself. Maybe if I didn’t have AVPD, I would actually want to live and grow up. Maybe adult life would be more fun and rewarding if I was normal? I don’t know
submitted by ash3lynn to AvPD [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 20:22 UltraRoggero2021 UPDATE: FNF Funkin Rap Battle Full Mod Cheats&Hack
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2022.01.28 20:22 lonelyheartsclub69 subliminals don’t seem to be working for me anymore?
a couple years ago i swear i manifested everything good in my life with subliminals, i would listen to make friends subliminal and grew instant popularity and friends and had success with it, but for a couple months now i listen to subliminals now and i don’t see anything changing? what’s going on?
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2022.01.28 20:22 Cataleya85 Ghosting?
So...I hit it off with an Aquarius a week ago (dating app) or so and we got into really deep conversations, meaning that he was really talkative and super friendly (on video call) but since 3 days ago I feel like I did something wrong cause he's ignoring me. I always feel that if I text 1st I bother him and if he texts me and I reply, he either ignores it or reads it but doesn't reply back. Are Aquarius people usually like this? I really like him but now I'm afraid that if I tell him I'm bothered by his acting he'll think I'm weird or desperate. Any advice on how to proceed? 😔
submitted by Cataleya85 to aquarius [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 20:22 WorldofSumo SUMO NEWS: Mitakeumi Married, Hakuho's buys new Heya , betting scandal end result, elections & more
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2022.01.28 20:22 flibergdde Arena Removal Complaint Post #6514
Everything that can be said has already been said, but I just want to mention how upset I am I've been playing SoT for a lil over a year, and I've been waiting o do arena till I get better at combat. Well, 2 weeks ago I decided I am. So I started doing arena. And now it's goin poof. At least I made it past rank 5. Overall I'd say they handled the removal terribly. Especially for all of you who were nearly level 50, and got s*** on by rare and won't get the Good Boy ship. It really is a great looking ship set and I wish I'd just bumbled through Arena from the start so I could have maybe reached level 50 and gotten it now
submitted by flibergdde to Seaofthieves [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 20:22 GanonR Is there any point using firefox if you use it with the Google Search engine?
2022.01.28 20:22 wannabeyy Having a dream about someone then they followed me the next day?
I never think about this kid, he went to my high school and haven’t seen him in 5 years. we weren’t friends. but last night i have a dream with him in it, not sure why, can’t even remember what the dream was but im sure he was in it. then the NEXT morning he requested to follow me on insta. what do guys think about this?
submitted by wannabeyy to spirituality [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 20:22 BlueShit199 y'all are br*tons sometimes
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2022.01.28 20:22 Prestigious-Hunt6781 ww1
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2022.01.28 20:22 saekura Can anyone recommend any pet sitters?
My first post got removed for being an advert? Not sure why, I’m just looking for advice.
I’m a bit anxious about letting a stranger into my flat. Can anyone vouch for a pet sitter or help ease my anxiety about it? I’m really wary of the idea of having to trust someone random.
submitted by saekura to glasgow [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 20:22 FrontpageWatch2020 [#149|+16384|1385] Doreen covering all the bases. [r/PoliticalCompassMemes]
2022.01.28 20:22 Trans_and_gothic Introduction to the Anarcho-Communist Makhnovia!
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2022.01.28 20:22 bigtittygothgf678 Something I’ve been thinking about for a while
So I’ve been into the law of attraction for a while and I have always had one random question in the back of my mind…. There are people out there who are absolutely terrible singers yet believe they’re amazing… how would this work with the LOA? Why aren’t they good at it yet?
I know it’s something petty to be thinking about but it’s always been stuck in my mind!
submitted by bigtittygothgf678 to lawofattraction [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 20:22 sloanpal144 Ugh, this sucks so fucking much
2022.01.28 20:22 Morgan-992 ROUND END TIP AND CUSHIONED BRUSH: The round end tip will prevent the scalp from damage and the cushioned brush allows the brush to follow through the head shape. PORTABLE AND COMPACT: The brush is compact, lightweight and portable to carry around anywhere. It can be used anytime, anywhere with the
|submitted by Morgan-992 to McrOne [link] [comments]|
2022.01.28 20:22 Morgan-992 Kitchen Sink Strainer Add a little style to your kitchen sink with these colorful Kitchen Sink Strainers! These strainers are cute as well as functional and they stay in place so that your drain remains clog free. Keep unwanted items such as food, straws, toothpicks, money and even rings from accide
|submitted by Morgan-992 to McrOne [link] [comments]|
2022.01.28 20:22 Aethers777 What is this mushroom?
2022.01.28 20:22 ylg97 Krakoa. For Mutants By Mutents.
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2022.01.28 20:22 MrsAllieCat Texted a parent at my school by mistake when trying to text my doctor’s office - I’m so embarrassed
The text was “ Hello-
I just took my PIO shot and a lot of blood dripped out. I just wanted to make sure this was Ok in terms of getting all the medicine. I wasn't sure if it was possible for the medicine to come out with the blood. The shot was in a similar spot as all my other shots have been (outer butt/hip)”
I’m was so embarrassed when I realized I texted a child’s parent at my school this. I started crying. I noticed 5 minutes later and immediately sent an apology text message. I’m 4dp6dt and I just feel like my head is in a fog. I’ve been several other small mistakes this week including trying to draw up PIO with the injection needle and forgetting to take my estradiol one morning. I just feel like I’m not on top of things like I normally am.
submitted by MrsAllieCat to IVF [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 20:22 scgco Arizona has introduced a bill to adopt Bitcoin as legal tender
2022.01.28 20:22 FrontpageWatch2020 [#137|+4550|5358] Girls of reddit, any questions about guys? [r/teenagers]
2022.01.28 20:22 SilentStriker00 The tough guys in the tank coexisting.
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2022.01.28 20:22 ryu4869 What’s the best car temperature?
2022.01.28 20:22 Wisdom_Pen Just found this sub and had to show off the two contraptions I'm the most proud of my Supernovae Mk. III and attached to the bottom powering it my Super Charger Mk. II combined they create so much heat that it can skeletonise a person instantly when attached to it!
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